Torn

I am torn, torn in two

Maybe it’s the sleep deprivation

From a fun night turn difficult

Maybe from a growing frustration.

This lump in my throat in growing

My tears are all dry

I've lost the zeal to carry on

I wonder why I even try.

I think of the phone calls received

About all the things that go wrong

Blown away by the comments

Wishing I was emotionally strong.

I care more than they know

And do my best to follow through

Which makes me feel my situation 

Is like a sinking canoe.

Brutally tossed by the waves

My believed support floating away

Losing will to carry on

Knowing all I can do is pray.

I feel lost and confused, 

What is Your desire for me?

Do I go right or left,

This is my plea!

I am torn, torn in two

I feel like giving up.

I think of those I'd have to face,

And would rather pass that cup.

What would be easiest for me,

Would not best honor You,

Its all in Your hands,

I am torn in two.