RIP

You had my trust and my respect.
I felt I knew you well,
but you proved me wrong that night,
and it hurt like hell.

It is painful to finally say goodbye,
but more importantly now I know
that my impressions of you were wrong
and it is time for me to let go.

Rest in peace my friend,
I am sure I will see you around
Rest in peace my friend,
I am free, my heart is no longer bound.

You Don't Need Me

I want to be needed, In a world of needy people
Looking for the answers to life.
And in my desperation, I finally come to realize
The One I want to need me, doesn't need me at all.

You don't need me
You don't need my selfish actions
You don't need my wavering heart
You don't need my many lies
But You want me, You want me

I'm wanted by my Savior, my perfect example
And the answer to my life.
And through our time together, You've opened up my eyes
To help reassure me, I'm wanted in Your life.

You don't need me
You don't need my hateful thoughts
You don't need my painful words
You don't need my empty promise
But You want me, You want me

But You want me
You want to provide
You want to love
You want to give me everything
Thank You for wanting me.
Thank You for fulfilling my need.

From Me

To you, the man of my dreams

There is so much I want to tell you
But where should I begin
First I'll say I'm sorry
For all of my past sin.

I guess I should warn you
About the life I've been given
That's made me who I am
And the reasons I am driven.

I was born into a family
That's always on the go
So traveling is a part of me
To see places I would never know.

God has called me to the mission field
And to Him I must be true
I pray that you feel this calling
Or will at least help to see me through.

My family is very important
A mother I want to be
Of our own or by adoption
Such a blessing for you and me.

I see us growing old together
One day at a time
Relying on each other daily
Making your hopes and dreams mine.

I have made some mistakes
I never want to speak of
But I pray we focus on the future
And together live for the One Above.

From me

A Sunny Place

Thunder rumbles in the distance
Rain crashes against the ground
Lightening flashes across the sky
Large puddles form all around

Thunder echoes through the clouds
Frightening the smallest creatures
Warning of the coming storm
Showing off all its finest features

Rain drops fall from the clouds
Watering the lands dear plants
Streaming from the open sky
Displaying nature's greatest rants

Lightening brightens up the clouds
It strikes the ground with glee
The bolts dance through the air
Come share in its victory

Large puddles grow to great size
And give the children somewhere to play
But as waters rise and the floods come
People begin to pray

Storms are needed to refresh the earth
No matter how terrible they might seem
So for now, just close your eyes
And find a sunny place in your dream

Memory Lane

I want to take you on a journey, down my memory lane
Through this great house full of love, joy and pain

Here's the living room, where we would have the Christmas tree
Family and friends gathered in love and to sit on Santa's knee

I use to sit at this bar to eat my daily meals
Green and blue milk, bologna pizza, and pin wheels

Poppy would sit in this recliner, take off his boots, and take his nap
While asleep, we did our best to steal his socks, but he'd wake with a snap

Out here we had the trampoline, play house and tire swings
I remember one time, I got 8 yellow jacket stings

Driving the tractors to pass the time, running into the house
Watching Pepper run after the ball, turtle or mouse

Upstairs we played most our games, snuck out on the roof
Locked in rooms and toy chests, how it happened there's no proof

So much joy filled that house when our family was together
But the memories of those we've lost, will continue in all weather

His Eyes

I could stare at them all my life
And find something new each moment
Their deep color leaves me questioning
What have they gone through
Seeing so many trials, so much strife

As I sit here staring
My world seems to pass away
Time flees as I think about the truth
During this time of deep reflection
I realize my true reasons for caring

Staying here is my heart's desire
Because while I'm lost and contemplating
They become wide and brighter
I can't tear myself away
From the eyes of the man I admire

I Need To Know

I need to know how you really feel
Is there any reason for me to wait
Right now my eyes are set on you
My heart tells me you are my perfect mate

So tell me please is there any hope
Could you and I have a future together?
Can you open my ears to the truth
Will our relationship last through all weather?

An honest answer is all I want
To tell me if I should move on
It would not be an easy task
But please don't take too long

My heart could be fully yours today
Just let me know if you don't feel the same
One request I ask of you
When you tell me, please be tame

It will take time for my heart to let go
Because I want so much for this to work
Please just be honest with me
I'm already prepared for the hurt

My Life Behind Bars

At times there is no where I can go
I'm locked up with guards running my life
My hands are tied about what to do
Chained to my feet so I can't flee

I keep trying to get out of this place
But the guns around me keep me trapped
Being myself is out of the question
This orange jump suit reminds me of the life I live

For what I've done there is only regret
My bail is too much to be paid
I can only hope for the ultimate forgiveness
"Oh Judge, please have mercy on my soul."

Locked Away

I'll never forget the time I spent,
stuck behind those bars.
Only the moon providing light,
with a clear view of the stars.

The noises around all seemed new,
as car horns sound and lights pass by.
Women yelling through the bars,
reminds me of how slow time can fly.

The cops are called, the gate opens,
that woman quiets down.
Finally I'm let out of that storage unit,
laughing on my way to town.

A Little Bit Crazy

I am a little bit crazy
It's how I'm made
Head to toe a part of me
And this I won't trade

I enjoy this life I'm living
Even the crazy things I've done
I might be fighting a loosing battle
But in my mind I've already won

Without crazy I'd be bored
Never daring to step out
On a limb of the unknown
And find out what life is about

Forever Family

My constant support
My my biggest fan
My best friend
My right hand man

Your trusting spirit
Your consistent prayers
Your loving smiles
Your unending cares

I can't thank you enough
I love you sincerely
I won't forget
I care for you dearly

Forever together
Forever free
Forever loving
Forever family

My funnest crew
My instigators
My travel partners
My trouble makers

Your loud laughs
Your funny jokes
Your crazy stories
Your slow pokes

I laugh still
I can't wait
I dream of then
I know our fate

Forever together
Forever free
Forever loving
Forever family

We smile
We stay
We sit
We pray
We laugh
We cry
We love
We try
Yesterday
Today
Tomorrow
Forever

Forever Together
Forever Free
Forever Loving
Forever Family

Tired

I'm tired of
...being used, tossed aside like an old rag
...trying to be there for you, knowing I'll get hurt
...the interruptions when I'm trying to talk with you
...the forgotten phone calls
...you bailing on commitments that we've planned

I hate
...your selfish attitude, that seems to get through
...not knowing if you'd be there for me
...hearing "You should have been there" but you never called
...the sudden change in plans with out consideration
...that I don't know how you will handle the things I've got to say

I feel
...our relationship has become one-sided
...we are growing apart
...things are very different than before
...I'm losing another friend
...that there's nothing else I can do

I loved it when we
...could talk about everything
...laughed at the stupid things we've done
...called each other, no matter what time
...hung out all night
...were there for each other 24/7

I want my old friend back
...the one that I could talk to
...the one who would talk to me
...the one who would call as promised
...the one who would remember our plans
...the one I love as a sister

Dream

I saw you in my dream last night
We were talking on the phone
I don't remember the conversation
But you were gone and I was home

We were about to hang up
When you said three little words
I remember stuttering "good-bye"
and my emotions were stirred

Am I ready to say these back,
Is this how I really feel
In real life if you said it to me
Would I have felt this zeal

You did not pressure me to say it back
Although I wanted to deep down
All I said was "goodbye, alright"
Which I bet left you with a frown

I felt excited, overwhelmed
When I hung up finally
Wishing you would call back
So I could hear it again more slowly

I woke up the next morning
With a huge grin on my face
It was only a dream
But what I wouldn't give for your embrace

Failure

I have tried so hard to live up to Your standards
To be the person that I am suppose to be
But every day seems to be a horrible struggle
Making me fail continuously

I have tried to
...say the right words
...act the right way
...give the right advice
...do my best not to stray

I fall back into my habits
The ones I want to quit
I feel I have failed you
I know I should not submit

I can't take it anymore
I'm a terrible person
But I have been forgiven
And covered by Your Son

It is refreshing to know
That no matter what I do
You don't see my sin
And I am loved by You

I renew my life to You
Be my only desire
Thank you for loving me
A sinner, a murderer, a liar

We Will Never Know

Taking a life is murder, no matter their age
Whether legal or not, the verdict does not change
You may think ending this life will make things easier
But in reality, for you and those you love, it only get harder
You may feel you can't raise the child on your own
But abortion ends the life of a child not yet grown

The child who would have
...kicked around in your tummy
...lovingly called you mommy
...cried for you when they were frightened
...wanted you to play pretend
...tried to trick you into eating dirt
...hugged you when they were hurt
...argued with you continuously
but loved you unconditionally

You will never
...hear their first cry
...see their first step
...touch their first macaroni necklace
...smell the dirty teenage laundry
...taste their wedding cake

Your child may have been the next
...John F. Kennedy
...Lady Bird Johnson
...Martin Luther King
...Mother Teresa
but now we will never know

They may have
...found the cure for cancer
...ended world hunger
...destroyed aids
...made world peace
but now we will never know

It's Time

It's time for you to grow up
Make some decisions for yourself
We won't always be there
To help your every step

It's time for you to act your age
Keep the commitments that you've made
Take on some responsibilities
And prove you can do it on your own

It's time for you to step up
Show what you are really made of
Put the childishness behind
Stand up and show your pride

It's time for you to give up
Those childish games you play
Make some hard choices
And stick to your guns

It's time for you to move on
Prove to yourself you can
Break some ties holding you down
And get ready for the future

It's time for you to realize
Procrastination will only go so far
Indecisiveness in annoying
And asking questions multiple times isn't cute

It's time for you to prove
To yourself it is possible
Problem solve by yourself
And stop running straight for help

It's time for you to start
Before you live on your own
Without someone to show you again
And give you advice you don't take

It's time for you to listen
To those trying to help
Learn from them before their gone
And you're left to discover on your own

Take Time

"Take a moment out of your day
No matter how long
To just come and hang out

I've missed our conversations
I'm always here
I'm ready to talk when you are

You keep rushing around
Saying you'll get to Me later
But you haven't recently

What happened to your commitment
To spend time with Me daily
I'm here, where are you?

When ever you are ready
My arms are open
My ears are alert

Just come
Spend time with Me
I've missed you"

I hear Him say this to me daily
But I still turn and do my own thing
It's His time I am wasting
It all belongs to Him
I need to make the time
To spend with my Savior daily!

My Kind Of World

I Wish I Lived In A World Where...
...Marriages lasted forever
...Fights only took place in a ring
...Children grew up with both parents
...Divorce wasn't an option
...Friends were open and honest
...Abortion was never thought of
...Hearts were never broken
...Guns were never invented
...Dreams came true
...Wars were just in stories
...Neighbors knew each other
...Everyone had equal opportunities
...Poverty was not in the dictionary
...People were seen by their strengths
...Differences were celebrated
...Students could share their faith in school
...Drugs were only used to treat sickness
...Children were never abused
...Alcohol was used in moderation
...Leaders were followed
...Sundays were kept holy
...Smiles were always worn
...Cancer, AIDS, and Malaria had cures
...Orphanages were never needed
...Bellies never empty
...Tears only happened while laughing
...Funerals celebrated life
...Clothes covered the body
...Churches were a place for worship
...Prayers were unselfish
...Hospitals were only used for births
...Families didn't have feuds
...Looks didn't matter
...Resources weren't wasted
...Teachers taught
...Trees were used for climbing
...Police weren't need at school
...Explosives were only used in fireworks
...Sweet dreams were possible
...Answers came easily
...Love never hurts
...The Unknown Soldier has a name
...Abstinence was the only birth control needed
...Hot water never ran out
...Peace was noticeable
...We actually stopped to smell the roses
...Disciple was used for direction
...Sports were played for fun
...Ends were met easily
...Only safe drivers took the road
...Rules were followed
...Free time was free
...Play wasn't an option
...Storms were refreshing
...Hope is alive
...Decisions were thought out
...Cars ran on tap water
...Praises were shared
...Bargains were found easily
...Living didn't cost an arm and a leg
...Couples grew old together
...Christ was in all our hearts

Many of these things I'll never be able to change,
But for the others I'll strive to do them daily
And maybe one day others will follow.

Too Young

Children are having babies, what's wrong with this world
Too young for the responsibilities
Too naive to realize the consequences
Too sweet for the struggle ahead

Most people blame the parents who are trying to make a difference
Too busy to notice
Too tired to keep tabs
Too hopeless to know where to start

The decision that'll be made will change every one's world
Too wrong for abortion
Too difficult for adoption
Too irresponsible for them to keep

In the end, it's that child's, that families decision
Too worried to think straight
Too confused to decide
Too lost for words

So what can those who love them do?
Unconditionally love them
Unconditionally support them
Unconditionally pray for them

Hurt Again

It's always been said that "Actions speak louder than words"
Every commitment broken
Every conversation you've forgotten
Has hurt me more than you know

I've tried to push all this junk behind me
Every time I've been hurt
Every time I've felt used
But recently I feel you don't care

We have talked about this in the past
But I can't tell if any of it really soaked in

It wouldn't be that big of a deal
Every repeated sting
Every hurtful let down
But you haven't only hurt me

How many times will I go through this
Every tearful night
Every uncomfortable phone call
Not wanting to talk because I am hurt so much

Sure we could talk again and again
But I really don't see you changing